Category Archives: Husband-Wife Notes

Aiana: Why Do I Have Visions of You

Yes, you read it as A-ya-na. She is the unica hija of a couple dear to us. Her parents have been there when we celebrated our 11th year wedding anniversary at the Bishop’s House with Rev Ubaldo L Millan or Fr Doodz as the officiating priest. They stood as our new godparents then. The rite was simple and attended only by our children and Fr Doodz’ close friends Zeny and Nitz, also our religious community sisters. Anyway, Aiana’s parents have become close to us in our community.

Aiana already graduated college last year at a prestigious university in a neighboring city. But she chose to dedicate her first year thereafter graduation into serving the religious community in that city. She did ask and obtain her parents’ permission to do so. Her parents are also into mission so they understand each other when it comes to the language of service and mission.

I witnessed how Aiana carries herself amidst people from various walks of life across sexes and ages. She is confident owing to the training her parents had given her. She was trained to be independent and asked to decide at an early age. Her mother even shared to us that they allowed Aiana to go to and from the city central school by herself when she was still in second grade. A small, morena little girl walked by herself across a city road where vehicles of various kinds traverse. In that road are hitherto jeepneys, private cars, single motorcyles, tricycles (or trisikad), and even the Spanish-inspired horse carriages (tartanilya).

Aiana talks like adults do, with tinge of respect at the adults when needed. She can organize events among the youths well. The youth listen to her. Imagine a Miss Minchin minus the bad side. I heard her once instructed the Young Adults (YAs) who were set to go camping in the next city on a summer break. She told them, in the presence of the sending off parents, “Your goal is to meet new friends, not to look for a crush. Make friends. You may appreciate someone’s looks, but you are not there to find yourself a girlfriend or a boyfriend. You are still too young for that. So refrain from sending out  ‘regards’ to whoever. You are also there to know more about the Lord.”

In her stay in the other city, she got closer with many brothers and sisters and their families there. Just last month, one of the sisters died at an earl age of 44. A beautiful sister who smiles at you like you were smiled at by an angel. A fresh beauty whose face has a ready smile and exudes of kindness. That face doesn’t seem to know how to depict anger, so I thought. That sister has three children. The youngest one is a special child. The thought of a special child being orphaned by her mom at a very young age thugs at any  mother’s heart. It did to mine. That sister’s family is well off. Her wake and funeral was even overflowing with flowers and food. The food included meals and snacks by caterers for days.

Now I wonder, of all wonders, why does my mind keeps on imagining Aiana as the future step-mother of the mother-orphaned children? The thought flashed on my mind days after sister beauty died. I ignored the thought as maybe my mind’s coping mechanism trying to assuage the care of the children left behind. Maybe because when sister beauty’s death shocked my brain, I did try to browse through her fb page. And I saw her posted poses with her kids. I saw in a number of photos Aiana as one of the family friends, aside from being community brethren. My mind seemed to tell me, Aiana may be a good source of comfort for the kids. But does she need to be the step-mom, my mind? Hahayz mind.

I wrote this now to remember this thought later. I’d like to have a record at how my mind sometimes conjure weird thoughts, although, possible ones too. Well, only God knows.

The Heart of My Other Half























your heart is indeed this BIG

when it comes to loving and caring

the people who matter to you

including even those who

may not matter to others at all

but to you everyone is as

significant as part in this web of life

who did’nt tell me I am swerte?

for martin is buotan from Lingkod brethren

to acquaintances around Iligan

yes it is true you have

what other husbands may not have

lengthened patience and flexibility

to name a few from a long list

you do what they may not do

taking the child rearing part with joy

to complement my child bearing odyssey

changing diapers even in the wee hours

holding the baby to breastfeed

when my deep CS cut’s

bothered my every move

accomplish the kids’ toilet-training

by waking up to let every child

pee in the middle of the night

bringing lunch to the schoolchild

amidst the day as a working dad

never was there a waver

in all these and that of our journey

of course I’d say married life has become

as easy as 1-2-3 with you as the other half

so supportive of my beauty =)

including my vanity

so the kids would often say

daddy loves mommy

for before their eyes

they’d see how you are towards me

so these revelations

are my way of telling the world

a husband can do all these and that

and still look handsome and masculine

and my way of saying to the Lord

I am grateful You send Martin

just at the right time

in that destined year of 2000

Happy Valentine’s Day 2011

my other half!


ORIGINALLY POSTED at Multiply on 14 Feb 2011 12.20AM